Ring Of Confidence

About 2 am in the morning the police ring the boss.

"There's a couple of big rocks on the road up near Piopio."

"Not a problem" says boss.

He rings Doddery on the Fart Phone.

Doddery sleeps on.

He tries the mobile.

It's in the truck.

50 kilometres south, two of the crew get a Loader up on to the transporter and drag it north to the scene.

Doddery sleeps on.

A new day and a refreshed roadworker toddles into the office offering cheery good mornings to all and sundry.

They seem inordinately curious about my sleeping ability. (Rip Van Winkle on sedatives)

Later, guilt ridden, I buy a phone for the bedroom.

"I want a loud ordinary cord phone"

The electronic shop tries to sell me every cordless phone known to man.

"No use in power cuts, I want an ordinary phone"

Finally they find one.
A plain ivory phone with a cord.

Now when the Fart phone is triggered, the house pulsates.
The dog goes crazy.

The response is usually, curt...

Telemarketers are certain of a burst of profanity...

And safe in the knowledge I will wake up.
I can sleep better ....