Rest Area 300m: February 2006

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Pip Pip

Next time you heave an apple core out the car window, try for a fertile piece of ground.
There are quite a few "wild" fruit trees along our stretch of highway.

Their locations are only reluctantly revealed, and only to those in the brotherhood.

Alas the Doris plums didn't crop all that well this year, but the blackberries are ripe and the odd early mushroom has appeared.

We did have a little peach tree, that had beautiful fruit.
Alas, one of our number swiped the whole tree & replanted it at his place.

They should be just about ripe.

Next time he is out ...

Knowing The Road

This marker peg overlooking the Mangaotaki River has the secret markings of the Fluro vested brotherhood inscribed on it.

At the risk of being drummed out of the regiment, and losing my tar allowance I am about to make them public knowledge.

One of my more promising students can easily explain them.

Got It?

The State Highways are divided into Block Sections.
They usually begin and end at a geographical feature, or major intersection.
So this peg is in the 103 block section which started 103km's from Hamilton, the beginning of State Highway 3

Everything is described on the road from looking south.
"True Left" is left looking south. The pegs are on the true left. Every kilometre.
We can roughly calculate smaller distances by counting the spaces in the centre line (10 metres) though some vehicles have special trip meters.
So if I am sent to 103/9.420 I can find the long lost pothole.

If I remembered to write it down ...

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Monday, February 27, 2006


I must say this sudden burst of activity thanks to an Xtra news letter link is wildly exciting.

Yesterday there were 3832 page loads today it is over 5800 & climbing.

It's great to have such an attentive audience.

Meanwhile, It was the usual after-weekend "housekeeping " for us.

A UB 40 Concert in New Plymouth meant a fair bit of traffic, which means broken signs, lots of rubbish, etc

We fixed a dinged crash barrier, and then spent a fair bit of time cleaning up after some lowlifes who have artistic pretensions.

I wouldn't have thought UB 40 would attract pseudo anarchist followers, but maybe it's just coincidental.

If our Sign Man could catch them, they would certainly get some greatest hits...

Sunday, February 26, 2006

? ? ?

Something odd here.
Where did 1500+ kiwi's come from on a Sunday.
And referred by Xtramail ?

Why aren't you mowing your lawns...

Welcome anyway.

By all means bookmark/favourites me
or you could send money...

P.S. If you click on a picture they will often get bigger
& You might enjoy a dig around in the Archives.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Never Cross Your Bridges ...

Um, "The sun was in my eyes"
An interesting set of photo's from Attu

Friday, February 24, 2006

Rams & Hornets

Town Day today.
A day off to buy some rams from the computor shop.

They must be good ones too, my processor has stopped smoking and glowing in the dark.

I could afford to indulge myself as the Silver Hornet is finally mine. The finance company even sent a rebate cheque.

It was nice to hurl good natured abuse at road workers for a change, and waft by as they sweated in the sun.

I must do more of it

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Hard Rock

I had a few odd loads on my truck today.
A jetty
A boat
Piles & decking
Geologists & engineers.

The boat was to take some tunnel experts to look at the rock structure where the river flows past the Awakino Tunnel.
Then they clambered onto the tray and peered at the roof inside the tunnel.
I am pleased to report it is made of rock and has a hole at each end.

The plan is to make the hole bigger.

I bet it doesn't happen any time soon, but there is nothing wrong with a day splashing about in the river.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Take Off

click for biggie

Hanan might be onto something.

But a luxurious weekend at a romantic winery-resort, and Mile High initiation, all expenses paid is out of the question.

Maybe a boysenberry icecream, a bacon & egg pie, and the Bennydale Pub would do the trick.

We could "adjust control surfaces" together.

Till Mrs Fart found out, then it would be the Comet Disaster

Pressure Drop

Plumbing can be fascinating.
It can also cause a lot of grief.
Fart Towers is fed by a spring, the water is sweet and pure.
It can also build up quite a bit of pressure, enough to cause exploding joiners on the incoming water line.

This can often mean grappling in the dark, trying to join two pieces of pipe, and inevitably means a face full of ice cold water.

Age breeds cunning however.
You leave a tap running.
No pressure
No problem.

There is the odd twinge of guilt. Thirsty Ethiopians and all that.
But I'm coping with it.

Stand Down

"No Sir,
It's one of ours...
Public Address, Island Class".

Monday, February 20, 2006

Action Stations !

"It's definitely the Hanan, Sir"

"She's linking to us"

"My God"

"Right Rudder."
"Make Smoke"
"Flank Speed"
"All Servers On Line"
"Oh and Rum for all hands Number One."

I'm A Lumberjack ...

Firewood time again.
Alas my chainsaw is in a million bits.
I've been toying with the idea of buying one of those cheap chinese ones.
They look pretty rugged.
Probably cut on an angle...

Sunday, February 19, 2006

On Hold

"Sheila Vice, a nurse's aide, and an off-duty EMT from another county stopped to help, and put a tourniquet on Dotson's arm to stop the bleeding. Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone."
W-Lex TV via Electron Soup

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Fingers Of Suspicion (salted)

On Yesterdays Post;

I have just re-read the Telegraph article on our roadkill chef. (which is a hoot)

But there is something quite sinister lurking in there.

"Fortuitously, Mrs Boyt is away for a few weeks. She is a vegetarian and, despite having had 10 years of marriage to get used to it, does not really like this sort of thing."

I bet the old bastard has eaten her ...

Friday, February 17, 2006

"Arthur Boyt is a dog-lover.
He loves to watch them bounding through fields, fetching sticks and barking with glee.
He loves their moist noses, their wagging tails and their glossy coats.
But he is particularly partial to them diced and boiled for an hour in a pressure cooker.

Mr Boyt, 66, enjoys a rather unusual past-time: he is a roadkill chef.

His specialities, thrown together on a rickety wooden table in his cramped farmhouse kitchen in Davidstow, Cornwall, include assorted casseroles featuring foxes, Canada geese, barn owls, hedgehogs, badgers, voles, squirrels, rats, blackbirds, cats and dogs."

Arthur was interviewed on National Radio this morning
(Link .. while it's up)

I was driving through the centre of the North Island at the time, but the pickings were slim, just a very flat cat in Bennydale.

I had to make do with crumbed fish.

Just A Click Away ...

I think they are on to me at work.

One of the things about being the Interweb's sole road worker blogger is that one day the boss will stumble on you via Google.

I may be wrong, but I know my sideways looks and snickers.

I Love My Boss
I Love The Company

There; that should sort it...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Doing Our Bits

"AMERICA IS addicted to oil." It was a catchy line in President Bush's State of the Union speech. But in truth, few administrations have done more to feed America's oil addiction than this one -- and the same can be said for this Republican Congress."
Washington Post

We here at Fart Towers are working hard to break our addiction.

The mounts don't seem to keen on hay though, and whinny a lot.

I'll trot em down to the vets tomorrow, I might have been sold a couple of duds.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A New Broom Sweeps Clean ...

You don't know what a dust storm is like till you drive a broom tractor.
To drive one without a cab takes grit.
And you get plenty of it.

The first time I saw our noble pilot preparing himself for operation I was somewhat amazed.
Scarves, goggles, crash helmet, face masks were all donned as part of the pre-takeoff ritual.

I was sent to one end of a stretch of the Awakino Gorge to slow traffic.
Soon a billowing cloud of dust signalled his approach.
The sun darkened.
The cloud thickened, and went past.
A couple of feeble lights were all I could see.
Later a dirt encrusted, cursing, individual staggered out of it.

Today I went to Rotorua and picked up a new one.
It has a cab, air conditioning, and a radio.

So no more threats of physical violence and complaints of frostbite

Our noble pilot is champing at the bit...


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Pot & The Gorge

Had the Edwards over for dinner tonight.
By Jasus they were fine company.
They soon came out of their shells.
Shame about their curiosity & love of the low life.
The pot has been their downfall.
How sad.


".... Sea slight. Northeast swell 1 metre."

"Not feeling the best today boss.
Might have to take the day off."

Monday, February 13, 2006

Shit. That's right
Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Route 87 Nebraska

Menopause Barbie & The Toy Boy.

Two years ago, Barbie split with Ken and shacked up with a surfer.

She had been dating him since 1961, but ... "Ken, to a large extent, was just another accessory. Just like her pink convertible or her beach house.
Fun to have, but not absolutely necessary.
Beside, here's the dirty little secret about Ken.
He was never all that hot, and Barbie knew it.
But that GI Joe - now, he was a doll."

Too bad that it cost her the Presidency.

The world might be a safer place.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

A Thousand and One Potholes ...

A year ago now, while visiting a blog, I spotted the "Get Your Own Blog" button.

I clicked it.

Suddenly I had to come up with a name.
Rest Area 300m is the first road sign that popped into my head.

Then a reason for it's existence.
Well, I'm fascinated by other people's jobs, and I get pissed off with bitchy political blogs. Link blogging is too much work, and requires hours of surfing.

So I have invented "slack blogging".

Not for me the stress of being a Scheherezade.

I just post something if I feel like it, and then have a look the next day to see what it was ...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Road Works Ahead

Tar Burning India

The construction season is in full swing now.

To most of you that just means roadworks and delays.
To us, involved in highway maintenance, it is at last getting problems solved.

A crew are working their way south digging up and stabilizing areas, behind them come a subcontractor sealing stretches of road.

Near Mokau a new section of road is being built over the old one. (an Overlay)

Engineers and others are scurrying about with spray cans marking out patches for later repair.

We are now in a race against weather and budget constraints.

The more that gets done now, the easier our winter will be.

Dig you buggers...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Stuff you need to know.

Jun 30, Philippines closed all non-Catholic Chinese restaurants.

Jul 5, Sarah Siddons (d.1831), actress, was born at the Leg of Mutton Inn in Wales.
She rose to fame as a protïge of Richard Brinsley Sheridan at the Drury Lane Theater and gained fame playing Lady Macbeth in Macbeth.

Nov 1, Lisbon flattened by Earthquake, Tsunami & fire.

The last specimen of a dodo bird, a stuffed but rotted relic, was burned at the Ashmoleum Museum of Harvard.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart conceived

Mt Taranaki last erupted.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Past Lives

Even in his previous existence, Mick Jagger was a bit of a poser.

Monday, February 06, 2006

In Cyberspace, no one can hear you scream...

It's a lonely place, Cyberspace.

I would have thought that among the gazillions of office workers, cops, strippers, parking wardens, bishops, funeral directors and all, there would be another road worker.

Someone I could talk tar & traffic control with.

I can't find one.

Gypsy Hoovering

If one must do housework
Loud music helps.

Try some gysy jazz
(via Bifurcarated Rivets)

Then, after a minute or two, when you are knackered, read this post and suddenly the Antipodes looks blessed.
Via boingboing

A bigger hammer ?

I have been wrestling with my photo program. It has been giving me grief.
I use Picasa, and it has suddenly started sulking and despite installing and reinstalling refuses to work.

I hate learning new stuff, Picasa was easy.
Things might look a bit weird for a while.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Crocodile Rocks.

"Kamikaze crocs attacking cars"

I know I seem to be a bit fixated on human chewing animals.
But you lot mostly work in offices.

If you were toiling away on a road through a rain forest the thought would cross your mind now and then.

I wouldn't be a stop/go person in tiger country for any money.

It must be a bit disconcerting to find that one of the crew has gone missing.

Just imagine the number of incident reports you would have to fill in.

I like New Zealand. All I have to worry about are enraged Katipo spiders and they only live at the beach.

Now the Aussies have kamikaze crocodiles attacking cars.

I know even crocodiles deserve a life. Some people even adopt them.

But they have freaked me out ever since I saw Peter Pan the Xmas pantomime at an early age, and saw the damage they did to Captain Hook.

Mind you I wish one would scoff that nauseating crocodile hunter bloke on TV.

I would even shout it a hatchback for pudding.


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Another bloody hot day.
We toiled over a blazing hot highway
The boss went fishing
Rumour has it he had a few scurvy engineers as crew.
I wonder if they all came back

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

"The Name's Fart, ... Dodderyoldfart."

People are flocking to apply for spy jobs.

"The secretive Security Intelligence Service has advertised for staff and received around 300 applicants, The Dominion Post reported today.
Outgoing SIS director Richard Woods said he was "very pleased" by the number and calibre of responses."

I'm in.

I've got my Super Sleuth Spy Kit.

magnifying glass, finger print kit, flashlight, rearview spy glasses, secret marker pen, and all...

and I like shellfish.

Cats on roller skates are OK though

Male. Lives in New Zealand/North Island/The Road, speaks English. Eye color is blue.
This is my blogchalk:
New Zealand, North Island, The Road, English, Male.

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