Praise Be

Truck stuck in tunnel
(Daily News)

"Motorists heading to and from Taranaki along State Highway 3 yesterday had their travel plans disrupted when a truck got stuck in a tunnel.

The Hookers truck became stuck in the tunnel, at the northern end of the Awakino Gorge, just before 3pm, blocking the main route into the region for about an hour.

Transport Safety Minister and New Plymouth MP Harry Duynhoven had a front-seat view of the blockage.

Mr Duynhoven said getting stuck in traffic was becoming a bit of a habit, as he was blocked returning to New Plymouth after a fatal accident at Mokau recently.

"The truck driver did a really good job getting it out."

He said the truck's load looked very high.

New Plymouth man Kevin Calvert saw the funny side of the situation.

"I thought it was quite funny actually, seeing the Transport Safety Minister at the front of the queue," Mr Calvert said.

He praised the road crew and driver for getting the truck free.

Hookers operations supervisor Wayne Mehrtens said the truck was carrying soundproofing for an oil rig at Mokai, 29km north-west of Taupo.

Mr Mehrtens said the load had been measured up and was well within the gauge of the tunnel.

The truck was probably just off square when it entered the tunnel, causing it to get stuck, he said.

No further problems were expected shifting the material, which would take 18 to 19 days."

Jam

This truck got stuck in the Awakino Tunnel this afternoon.

The rear container on his trailer jammed against the tunnel roof in one corner.

We got it out by chaining it securely and then using brute force.

It had also slid back on the trailer, and dropped a side over the tray.

I lifted it by sliding my tray under it, and then lowering it, so it acted like a big crow bar

We then cunningly pulled it sideways with the winch and a snatch block.

We chocked it up, and I pushed it back into position again, using the sliding tray.

Traffic had soon banked up, while the tunnel was blocked, and for the second time on the road, I managed to hold up the Minister for Transport Safety.

I had hoped for a little heart to heart chat about Roadworkers remuneration to a captive audience, but in the commotion he escaped...

Though I might have to re-think my tunnel widening odds ...

I Robot

Dang!

These are cool...

via Metafilter

Ring Of Confidence

About 2 am in the morning the police ring the boss.

"There's a couple of big rocks on the road up near Piopio."

"Not a problem" says boss.

He rings Doddery on the Fart Phone.

Doddery sleeps on.

He tries the mobile.

It's in the truck.

50 kilometres south, two of the crew get a Loader up on to the transporter and drag it north to the scene.

Doddery sleeps on.

A new day and a refreshed roadworker toddles into the office offering cheery good mornings to all and sundry.

They seem inordinately curious about my sleeping ability. (Rip Van Winkle on sedatives)

Later, guilt ridden, I buy a phone for the bedroom.

"I want a loud ordinary cord phone"

The electronic shop tries to sell me every cordless phone known to man.

"No use in power cuts, I want an ordinary phone"

Finally they find one.
A plain ivory phone with a cord.

Now when the Fart phone is triggered, the house pulsates.
The dog goes crazy.

The response is usually, curt...

Telemarketers are certain of a burst of profanity...

And safe in the knowledge I will wake up.
I can sleep better ....

The Hole In The Wall

This is my favourite entranceway.

It is the drive into Bexley Station in the middle of the Awakino Gorge.

The tunnel was initially formed by water and has quite a sharp right turn in it. The milk tanker goes through here, minus it's trailer.

The way out heading back to the main road is even more impressive.

It would be easy to hide away from the debt collector up here...

With Knobs On ...

Pissed off at the unreliable radio CD player in my truck, I have bought my own.

I wanted something that would play MP3s.

Being Scroogish, I got one from Trade Me. It's the genuine article but the instructions are in Chinese.

No worries, you download and print off an English handbook off the Net.

I am up to page 30 so far and we are still on "Audio Adjustments".

"Fine Adjusting Equaliser Curve"
You can adjust the centre frequency and the Q factor (curve characteristics) of each currently selected curve band (EQ-L-/EQ-M/EQ-H) Blah Blah...

Why does technology have to be so bloody complicated ?

I want a knob (on/off louder)
A tuner knob.
Maybe a button or two.

But no, you have to shift modes, Scan fine and rough, and pre-setting radio stations is up there with flying the space shuttle.

When the revolution comes, knobs are going to be compulsory...

"Just The Facts, Maam... "

I reckon I could teach these Auckland P.I.'s a thing or two.

When it comes to rubbish forensics, I'm a pro.

The lazy sods who dump their rubbish in the rest areas are my target.

They often try and hide their tracks, burning envelopes and such.

They always forget something;

A name on a milkbottle, or prescription bottle.
Kid's notes and drawings.

It's a good thing there are no politicians on my patch.

But I am for hire....

photo from Found

"Afraids To Appear"

Russian Federal highway Moscow - Yakutsk City.

"The road doesn't have asfalt surface, though it is a Federal, vital highway. "Everytime it rains the road gets paralized, these shots are made a few days before the traffic jam for 600 cars got stuck there. Hunger and lack of the fuel followed, according to the witnesses. One woman gave a born to a child right in the public bus she was riding."



"Construction team afraids to appear on site because during their previous visit it was beaten by people who stuck in the jam for a few days. People breaking the locks on the trucks, in a search of food and warm cloths."



I Think I would be "afraids to appear" as well.

Link

Easy as ...

I like pies.

In fact I really like pies.

At the moment, in our task of shovelling our way around NZ, I burn a pie per kilometre.

I am nearly as skinny as my shovel handle.

The Government has just announced a $NZ67million anti-obesity campaign.

They should be subsidizing my pies.

I should be a sitter for the;
"new celebrity 'lifestyle ambassadors' campaign" though.

As long as they don't bust my raging pie habit ...

Mind you some of those fat kids look tasty.

Ah Spring!

The delights of dining in the great outdoors...

We do tend to cause a little amusement to the passing public sometimes, as we all carry folding chairs with us.

Lunch and tea breaks used to mean that you sat on a rock, a pile of gravel, or in a vehicle.

This is literally a pain in the arse.

Now I can relax in my $9 deck chair and doze in the sun.

Best $9 dollars I ever spent ...

!

R

It Must Be Spring...

Mk IV Brash Tank in compromising position

Background for puzzled non kiwi's

Talk Like A Pirate Day

ARRRRRRRRRR !

"You Wait, Scum"

It's Keep NZ Beautiful Week.

I wish it was Keep Doddery Safe Week.

That's slivers of mirror glass in those rubbish bins.

I haul those bags out of the drums and heave them onto the truck.

Some thoughtless bastard is trying to injure me.

I shudder to think what could happen, and even a minor cut could lead to infection.

Tomorrow it's Talk Like Pirate Day

If I found this dangerous tosser I'd string him up.

And if he could talk, it would be with a very high and squeaky voice...

Jelly From Heaven

I have been studying dinosaur extinction.

(I do try to use my days off productively)


Some people think they were killed off by Jello

Others by dung.

I think the earth was bombed by meteorites that made giant potholes

With big fat legs and only two wheel drive they couldn't get out.

Doddery's Tips (1)

"Don't put jumper leads on nipples" - experts

"Here, Chook, Chook, Chook."

That reminds me...

Time to feed the chooks...

Overtime

We are still doing our best to create a flat New Zealand.

Well making it a bit shorter anyway.

Bits fall down and I cart them off to a gully somewhere.

With the overtime I'm going to buy a very busy piece of outdoor art.

Southward, Ever Southward...

We are steadily shovelling our way south down New Zealand at the moment.

It's kerb and channel time.

I brought my annual straw sun hat today, it's getting quite warm in the middle of the day.

Spring has truly sprung.

Oh and Jono has been let off without conviction.

"Judge Bidois ruled that special circumstances applied in this case.

He told Mr Erwood: "You risked your career to attend the accident. Your instincts were to help."

The judge added: "For 16 years you have performed with distinction as a police officer. There will be a real risk you will lose your job if convicted. That decision is not for me."

Link

Doing Porridge

As a kid I ate my fair share of porridge.

I quite liked it, I still do.

I used to dig canals through it with my spoon and try and get the milk to flow through intricate channels and lakes.

This is good training for an aspiring Roadworker.

The "Wash behind your ears" message however, should have been; "Always keep your culverts clean" (The first commandment for a Roadworker.)

Little Johnny McAdam learnt his lesson well. "Always keep your culverts clean and your drains flowing, Johnny, and you will save a good road".

The bit of road we are working on at the moment is fine. The drainage however is a disgrace and we haven't been able to clear debris for months.

This is not of our doing, but them up there.

They probably ate corn flakes.

As we cleaned the drain here, we had the satisfaction of watching water flow out from under the road, and head off to the Tasman Sea.

Truly we are saviours, and It's much better than mucking about with porridge...

Fire Would ...

For years the Brotherhood have been eyeing these gum trees.

The could keep one toasty warm for many a cruel winter.

A good storm, a dark night, a quick word, and they would be toast.

Unfortunately they met an official fate.


Having been felled, (demolishing a fence in the process) they have been sold.


Life is just so unfair sometimes...

Wet Weekends

These sorts of accidents are a bloody nuisance.

The 4x4 was heading uphill, put a wheel in the ditch and over it went, facing back from whence it came.
The driver was OK, but not present.

We can put cones around it, (It's not quite on the road) and some signs up and head home to the fire, but the phone will go constantly at the local police station, and there is still the problem of recovery and the consequent oil, diesel, mud on the road.

Also people will keep on stopping, even with traffic cones surrounding the scene.
This can cause chaos

Accidents breed accidents.

The upshot is that I get wet waiting for the cop.

Then we both get wet waiting for the Towie.

Then we all get wetter recovering it.

And all the while my full coffee thermos still sits, forgotten, on the kitchen table ...

Russian Bus Stop

"Sex, speed and alcohol make Russia's roads the most dangerous in Europe.

25 per cent of drivers have admitted to having had sex while driving, according to a survey by KRC Research and Goodyear.

It also found Russians do not use seatbelts, break speed limits, drive through red lights, drive drunk and have sex while driving more often than other Europeans."

Reset Button ?

Small maintenance problem.

Be with you shortly.

Boobs, Bikes, & The Sack

I see a couple of guys were sacked after tarrying a bit at the Boobs on Bikes Parade.

They ended up in the paper.


A few of the local girls here are keen for a Parade here in Piopio
(Navel of the Universe & Cultural Hub of NZ)

We better keep an eye on the Waitomo News paparazzi though.

We don't want mass sackings over long lunch breaks.

Though looking at the talent, I think a very short lunch break is called for ...

Bad Hair Day

First things first....

Better brush my hair ...

Now Bear With Me ...

Damn that's a big dog...

Must be doing well for himself too.

Taxi's aren't cheap in Russia....

Water Falls

Waterblasting crash barriers today.

Over a period of time they get covered in grime and lichen.
The waterblaster makes short work of it however.

A wet and dirty job. You get covered in flecks of old paint and also, of course, become rather soggy.

Pisses off the spiders too.

A job that is better to watch than do.

On the run home I came across some of the fellows dropping a tree that has been causing concern.
The bulldozer has a winch rope attached and quite a few cubic metres of macrocarpa is heading groundwards...

Woy Woy Woosies

Spike has been laid up.
He is feeling poorly.

His namesake though is thriving.

We had lunch together on Saturday, at his rest area residence.

Partial to a bit of bacon sarnie is our Spike...

Back to the garage...

Well I have had to put the wheels away.

No gala dinner, No golden shovel, no donkey ride.

The Ministers speech was all very blah too.
Lots of stuff about innovation.

I thought that Stop/Go staff might be allowed to carry Tasers, or all roads would be closed in the winter.

I did pick up one thing though;

"...The roading industry has an edge because it has shown it is prepared to explore ways to improve working conditions to attract and retain quality people, and I hope it continues to be innovative in this respect."

I think I know the sort of innovation the Minister is on about

Firm wins award for giving staff nap time
An Auckland law firm which allows workers go home when they need a nap has won the country's top award for "work-life balance."

Well that is a step in the right direction.

I'm sure the boss agreed that to be innovative and well balanced "I need to hit the sack for a nap".

Something about "the sack", anyway.